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What to Do When Frustrated – Part Three
Fine counsel regarding frustration is found in Psalm 37: 7, “ Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!” Bottom line, cool it. To do so consider these biblical steps regarding what not to do. Don’t – – – .
* Resort to vindication. In their time of frustration many people try to find someone or something to blame in order to justify themselves. “They made me do it,” is a cover-all for all sorts of inexcusable attitudes and actions.
We cause our own frustration because of how we think.
Solomon wisely wrote: “As a man thinks in his heart so is he” (Proverbs 23:7). If an individual or a group gets to thinking they have been wronged and have the right to destructively retaliate, violence results.
Few people are willing to take responsibility for their own actions. Yet, “…each of us shall give an account of himself to God” (Romans 14: 12).
Never do wrong in order to get a chance to do right.
“Do not evil that good may come.”
“See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourself and for all” (I Thes. 5:15).
Don’t resort to violence.
John the Baptist was God’s oracle who said, “Do violence to no man” (Luke 3:14).
Proverbs 16: 32 reminds us: “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.”
* Violence may hurt others but it doesn’t help you.
Don’t go “ballistic”” over your frustrations.
Plato said, “The good man will suffer evil rather than do evil.”
* Don’t resort to vengeance. Romans 12: 17 – 19 is a case study in how to respond without a vengeful spirit.
Live Honestly. “Repay no one evil for evil” (Vs. 17). The great Booker T. Washington said, “I will not allow any man to make me lower myself by hating him.”
Live Harmoniously. “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” (Vs. 18). Do all you can, without compromising your convictions, to achieve peace and harmony.
Live Humbly. “Do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath… Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord” (Vs. 19).
“Do not avenge yourselves” means don’t take the law into your own hands.
Don’t retaliate in a like manner. If vengeance is God’s business, get out of His way and let Him to His work. He doesn’t need your help.
What to Do When Frustrated – Part Two
Luke 21: 25 – 28
Frustration is you and circumstances standing face to face with life shouting “no way” and you responding “yes way” and circumstances won’t yield.
In general there are two types of frustrations.
There are episode frustrations which are temporary problems, such as missing an important phone call, trying to get a knot out of a shoestring while friends call you a klutz or worse, or being unable to solve a computer glitch.
An episode of frustration is you slamming the refrigerator door because your favorite snack isn’t there.
It’s you kicking the cat or dog because someone chewed you out when you didn’t deserve it.
There are process frustrations which occur when a person continuously feels blocked in an area of life. Process frustrations build up and cause major problems.
A few years ago psychologist William Knaus wrote a book entitled “How to Conquer Your Frustrations.” Some of his observations are worthy of noting. He said:
1. Frustrations exist when our wants, wishes, and desires get thwarted or interrupted. The feeling results from disparities between what we want and what we find available. For example, when our level of aspiration exceeds our level of achievement, we will likely experience frustration.
2. Frustrations can range from imperceptible to powerful.
3. Frustration starts from a feeling of discomfort.
4. We cause our frustrations because of what and how we think about our frustrations.
5. Strong frustrations result in mixed emotional states that have a disorganizing effect on memory and behavior.
6. Depending on how we interpret our feelings of frustration, they can stimulate positive change, aggression, regression, complacency, or compulsive behavior.
This last one means you choose how you will respond to your frustrations. Options are available to you. You are not a slave to your heredity or environment. You have willpower. You are responsible.
In summary the way to deal with frustration is to follow this pattern.
“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!” (Psalm 27: 13 – 14).
What to Do When Frustrated – Part One
Luke 21: 25 – 28
Do you ever get frustrated? Sure we do. Did you notice the “we?” All of us do. We seem to be living in the time Jesus spoke of when He said, there would be “distress among nations, with perplexity…” and of “men’s hearts failing them.”
This summarily speaks of a time of great frustration. Perhaps you personally are facing a time of frustration. Certainly, it appears a broad segment of our nation is experiencing an epidemic of frustration. You know frustration.
Frustration is an emotion fathered by anger. It causes our blood pressure to rise, our breathing to accelerate, the pitch and volume of our voice to heighten.
Frustration results from us reacting against seemingly impossible circumstances.
One country comic said, “It makes me so mad I could eat a goatburger!” That’s frustration.
You have seen it, or perhaps you have been the one seen, whose plans are frustrated and you go ballistic.
Youth experience it when they get all “jacked up” and life kicks out the jack, causing a big letdown.
Frustration is a Moses coming to a much-needed spring of water and finding it dry, starts beating on the rock with his rod.
It is John who gets fed up with the opposition and asks Jesus to call down fire from heaven on them.
Do you ever feel as frustrated as the fellow who bought a new boomerang and had trouble throwing the old one away?
At times you can feel it building. Resources aren’t available or have run out, time to act is elapsing, people to help have abandoned and the pressure rises until finally “melt-down.”
It is you senselessly honking your horn in a traffic jam.
It is our response to a comedy of confusing circumstances that keep us from being punctual at an appointment.
It’s kicking carpet when things just won’t go right.
It’s our reaction to the toaster which burns our toast and smokes up the house when we are in a hurry to get going.
Having identified frustration two Posts will follow listing do’s and don’ts regarding it.
The Lord Is Good (All the Time)
Inquisitors ask, does God judge nations? The answer is an emphatic yes. A classic example is recorded in the Bible book of Nahum.
God is the great arbiter, the all-powerful ruler of the universe. He is patient and long suffering, BUT He is also exercises justice and is zealous of His standards.
He is patient with the rebellious, but He is also zealous for righteousness. His punishment of the guilty is severe, but it is also just (1:1-3a). Repetitiously He has warned His disobedient people. The often repeated pattern of His conduct is seen in His dealing with His people as described by Nahum:
God warns – – – God waits – – – God exercises judgment. He still does in dealing with persons and nations.
Through storms, winds, droughts and earthquakes he sends judgments that bring total destruction. When his wrath is poured out on sinners, no one can escape (3b-6).
He not only has power to exercise judgment of the rebellious, He has the power to protect and provide for His people.
Every Christian should memorize Nahum 1: 9: “The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, And He knows those who trust in Him.” Don’t only memorize it but adopt it as a personal life-style.
That truth is embedded in the midst of God’s judgement that is about to be vented.
Turning to address the people of God, Nahum promises that God will not punish them further. He will free them from the enemy’s power (12-13). Nahum tells the Assyrians that their gods will be destroyed (14), but tells the Judeans that their God will be victorious. Soon a messenger will bring them news of the overthrow of Assyria, whereupon they should worship God with thanks, sincerity and joy (15).
Being so mighty, God can protect those who trust in him, and destroy those who fight against him (7-8). Nahum warns all enemies that it is useless to plot against God, for he can destroy them with one blow. He will not need to strike twice (9-11).
Not all adversity experienced by believers is a judgment. Whether it is or not believers experiencing difficulty should not ask “Why me, Lord?” The better response is, “How Lord, now that this has happened how can it make me more like Jesus.”
Sometimes pressure on a believer is like the pressure put on clay by the potter. Its purpose is to shape a more perfect image.
With the awareness that God judges nations as well as people pray for our nation. God’s proposed remedy is, “if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land” (II Chronicles 7: 14).
Great Is God’s Faithfulness
Give yourself a break. If you can sing, belt out the words below. Even if you can’t sing, at least read them meditatively. Throughout the day let them ruminate in your thoughts. Feeling low? That is all the more reason to reflect on them.
GREAT IS THY FAITHFULNESS
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.
Refrain:
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see:
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!
Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon, and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy, and love.
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide,
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow—
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
Well, so it lacks something in grammatical construction, but not in biblical truth.
“God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord” (I Corinthians 1: 9).
“So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good” (I Peter 4: 19).
“But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one: (II Thessalonians 3: 3).
“This calls for patient endurance on the part of the people of God who keep his commands and remain faithful to Jesus” (Revelation 14:12).
Sing it again!