Profile of a Non-PC Wife/Mother 5/10/98

Proverbs 31:10-12
Page 975 Come Alive Bible

Jesus Christ who in eternity leaned on the breast of His Father without any mother in time leaned on the breast of His mother without any father.

His earthly parental tie was obviously closer with His mother than Joseph, His guardian father. The likelihood is that Mary was widowed while Jesus was still very young. Mary was still with Him even at the cross. The relationship between these two is a pattern for parental relations with their child. Mary mirrors admirable motherhood.

Once a year many families pause on a day called “Mother’s Day” to try to atone for a year of neglect. Yet, even that is commendable. It got its modern start May 10, 1908, at the funeral of the mother of Anna M. Jarvis. Anna love her mom and at her memorial service suggested an annual day honoring mothers. Her mother’s favorite flower was the carnation. At the memorial service she gave everyone a white carnation. The concept gained popularity until Mother’s Day was observed in a number of large cities. On May 9, 1914, by act of Congress, President Woodrow Wilson proclaimed the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day. He declared the day as a time for “public expressions of our love and reverence for the mothers of our country.”

By then it had become customary to wear white carnations to honor departed mothers and red to honor the living. This custom is still observed by many.

The concept has expanded to include giving mom a gift. It is a grand idea. Most are deserving. Every young female who eventually becomes a mother should aspire to merit such.

Most of us men would concede selecting that gift is a challenge. The selection process is stressful for most men. Many a man has felt extreme frigid temperatures for a long time because of a poor decision in gift selection. Veterans of these wars suggest:

-Don’t buy anything that plugs in. Anything that plugs in is seen as utilitarian. It is in the same category with a washboard in a previous era.

-Don’t buy clothing that involves sizes. The chances are one in seven thousand that you will get her size right, and your wife will be offended 6,999 times. You will hear, “Do I look like a size 16?” Too small a size doesn’t get it either: “I haven’t worn a size 8 since I was 18.”

-Avoid useful gifts. The silver polish guaranteed to save hundreds of hours is not going to win any brownie points.

-Don’t buy anything that involves weight loss or self-improvement. She will interpret a six month gift certificate to a diet center as suggesting she is overweight.

-Don’t buy jewelry. The jewelry your wife wants, you can’t afford. The jewelry you can afford she won’t wear.

-Don’t spend too much. “How do you think we can afford that?” she will inquire. Don’t spend too little. She won’t say anything but she will think, “Is that all I am worth?”

No one deserves a special day more than a good mom. A cartoon showed a psychologist talking with a patient/mom. “Let’s see,” he is saying, “You spend 50% of your time and energy on your job, 50% on your husband, and 50% on your children. I think I know why you are tired all the time.”

Preaching on the occasion of Mother’s Day was once a given easy for ministers. Not so today.

Politically correct (PC) feminist have worked to erode the virtue and honor of the role. This has prompted Rita Carver to write: “In today’s world one wonders if mother is not headed for extinction… Some of our feminist sisters have declared that as non-working mothers we are only maids doing the job any eight year-old could accomplish.”

The avant-garde mood of feminists is attempting to dismantle the traditional concept of what a woman should do and who she should be.

It was reported on Dr. James Dobson’s radio program that many books have been taken from public libraries that depict the traditional role of fathers and mothers. These have been replaced by volumes depicting current PC parents.

Fortunately the failure of these recast roles is now being realized. Many young women are realizing the importance and joy of living on less and living for more than material goods. One lovely young mother, a former “Miss Cobb County,” said to me recently, I didn’t realize of what I was being robbed with my first two children. Now that I am a full time mom I know what a blessing it is to be a parent giving my child deserved attention.”

Some moms have to work and that must be respected. However, if a mom can possibly devote herself to mothering the family should adjust to accommodate her.

Let’s go back to the wisdom of Proverbs and redefine the Biblical ideal for a wife and mother. Though few may fit the ideal, none will unless the Biblical role is defined and understood.

I. SHE IS A DEVOTED WIFE (VSS. 11, 12, 23)
There are three reciprocal roles a wife and husband should play related to each other.

Build one another’s confidence.

Seek another’s welfare. A husband should study his wife. Get to know her temperament, mood, and disposition. Learn what pleases or displeases her. Seek her happiness.

Be as sensitive to her needs as I heard of an infant being. A young mother placed her infant in his high chair and sat down to feed him. She was physically fatigued and emotionally drained. She was even a bit fearful for the family had run out of money. As she sat down she reflexively put her head on the child’s feeding table and began to cry. The child took the pacifier out of his mouth and tried to put it in his mother’s mouth.

Enhance one another’s reputation.

Never, repeat, never criticize one another in public. Demeaning one another is a game no one wins.

II. SHE IS A DILIGENT PARTNER (VSS. 13-17, 18B, 19, 22, 24)
As a woman with God’s view point, she is a willing worker, a wise planner, and a thrifty shopper.

She keeps herself fit spiritually and physically.

Husbands remember she is your partner, not your servant.

Hear a modern version of the fairy tale of the frog and the beautiful princess.

Once upon a time a lovely, independent, self-assured princess found a frog in a pond.

The frog said to the princess, “I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you, and I will turn back into a prince, and then we can marry, move into the castle with mom, and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so.”

That night —- the princess had frog legs for dinner.

The moral of the story: men don’t take your wife for granted. Especially if you are a frog.

Both husband and wife have responsibilities toward each other. Husbands reevaluate your responsibility toward your wife and recommit to fulfilling them.

Again I appeal, study your wife.

Know her in order to look out for her welfare.

Keep the channels of communication open and clear.

Make sound and timely decisions.

Determine your wife’s gifts and capabilities and encourage them.

Assume responsibility for your own actions.

Her unselfishness motivates her to be concerned about her own family as well as others. She has a vision and heart for ministry not only to her own family but others.

Some children appear to think being a mother is a cushy job. It involves standing on Mt. Sinai waving a spatula shouting, “Thou shalt not!”

The importance of the role was indicated in a three frame cartoon. One frame showed a depiction of the nation’s Capitol, the next the White House. The third showed a mother in a rocking chair reading to her child. The caption read: “Choose the real seat of power in America.”

In speaking of mothers I know not everyone has had an ideal mother. Resentment often last into adulthood as a consequence of a mother having failed in her role. Perhaps you had such a mother. You want to have loving thoughts regarding her, but what happened doesn’t result in such warm encouraging thoughts. It is OK not to like some of the things you mom did. However, you need to be mature enough to dislike the things she did and separate them in your thinking from what she was. Love her even though you don’t like what she did.

In our “Me-ism” society a “I want it all now” complex has developed. As a result some young women rush into motherhood before marriage. Don’t! The mother depicted in the Proverb is self-disciplined and willing to practice delayed-gratification.

I know when that statement is made in a congregation as large as this there are some who didn’t. The Bible never condones such and the Christian community must never sanction such. However, once it has happened the young person needs the Lord, His church, and His people as never before. The church must be supporting and encouraging once the mistake has occurred. The young couple may well be suffering from a repressed moral-failure complex and not know what it is. They need to deal with their own emotions and be accepting of the fact they are accepted though their conduct is unacceptable.

Those of you busy in rearing children I want to share with you one of the biggest blessings of parenthood. I referred to delayed-gratification. Keep this in mind all through your challenging years of child rearing. One of these days your door will open. In will walk a young adult. Your best friend, your child. Anticipate and work for that delayed- gratification.

She is organized and energetic (Vs. 15).

She is an equipper (Vs. 21).

Throughout this Proverb reference is made to clothing and providing for her family. This is often done at a personal sacrifice. One young adult told recently of her excitement when she was in the eighth grade. Her class was having a much talked about party. All the girls talked excitedly about what they were going to wear. This little girl knew her widowed mother was rearing her and her brother on a limited income and a new dress wasn’t possible. Naturally she was a bit disappointed. She soon cheered up when her mom, a wonderful seamstress, agreed to make her a new dress for the party. It was so lovely. What made it special was that it was just like one her mom had that they both admired.

That young woman said of her mother, “It was some time before I realized my mom never wore her dress again – she had made mine out of hers.”

Diligent and devoted moms are miraculous providers.

She is self-disciplined and unselfish (Vs. 27).

Playwright Victor Hugo captures the essence of motherhood in one of his plays in which a ship’s captain gives a starving mother and her two children a slice of bread. She tears it in two and gives a half to each child.

A deck hand standing by asks the captain, “Is it because she is not hungry?”

The captain replies, “No, it is because she is a mother.”

Her very lifestyle is a testimony to her children (Vs. 28). Many wonder about what their child might be tomorrow. A mother never forgets that her child is someone today.

She is a woman full of wisdom.