When the Possible Is Impossible
“If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” Romans 12: 18
Have you ever had a relationship with someone for which you have great regard that suddenly inexplicably goes in the tank? It seems every act of goodwill is interpreted as offensive. The more lovingly you try to share love the more your efforts are repelled. Instead of your efforts of reconciliation healing the hurt the more dramatically the breach opens. You are locked out and put down. What then?
The text noted above says, “If it is possible….” The relationship in question proved it is not always possible. The door is locked and you are outside. Make sure the lock is not on your side of the door. Accept the pain that the door is locked and it is from the other side.
Next note in the text the expression, “…as much as depends on you….” Over others’ conduct we have no control; but the initiative in disturbing the peace is never to lie with the Christian. Make sure you are open to reconciliation then “Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord” Romans 12: 19.
Don’t strike back. When the opportunity presents itself, forgive and forget. As used here “forget” means I will never hold it against you. That is the way God reacts to us. His love is the prototype for us.
Make sure your conduct is according to James 5: 17, “…the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.”
The text notes the impossibility of restoration does sometimes exist. Having done their best unsuccessfully to live in peace, a person might be tempted to think the failure was necessarily owing to themselves. At this point some Christians who have made a conscientious effort of reconciliation without success feel they have failed. If every effort has failed don’t ride off into the sunset on the guilt horse.
At the point of irreconcilable, pray for the estranged former friend and ask God to put someone in their life to help them be reconciled to the Lord. That is the point of reconciliation. Their conduct related to you is foreign to God and therefore they must first be reconciled to Him before they can be reconciled to you.
When a point is reached in a desired relationship that your every act of love is undesired and repelled, remain open to reconciliation. Don’t continue to offend the hostile by association with them. This is because every good action is responded to by a negative reaction and further alienation.
When the slightest openness is sensed, respond warmly and lovingly. Keep in mind: “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” Romans 12: 18.