Archive for July, 2025
How Do You Control Your Anger? Part Three
Ephesians 4: 26, 27 & 30 – 32
Begin by knowing what anger is. It is a negative emotion that is aroused when our self-centered position is threatened. It is a defense mechanism that produces thoughts contrary to the will of God.
Realize most angry people refuse to take responsibility for their own actions and blame others.
To control your anger, play a little game called “Who Is In Control Here?” Is Christ going to be allowed to control you or is some person or circumstance? Predetermine that Christ will control you. To control your anger, admit you are capable of it – Rom 3:23.
Put a time limit on your anger. Ephesians 4:26 says handle anger immediately: “Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath…” If a splinter or thorn is left in a finger, it festers and becomes a worse sore. The best thing to do is get it out at once. The same is true of anger.
An old Latin proverb notes: “”He who goes to bed angry has the devil for a bed-fellow.” Never take your enemies to bed with you.
Don’t “give place to the devil” (Eph. 4:27). This is done by trying to justify your anger. It is aided by attempting to excuse it under the guise of righteous indignation. Don’t respond in the devil’s way. Always respond in God’s way.
Realize there is an alternative. “Above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins” (I Peter 4:8).
Resolve to “…be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4: 32).
Charles Spurgeon and Joseph Parker were two outstanding preachers who ministered in London at the same time in the late 19th Century. Parker once commented on the poor condition of the children admitted to Spurgeon’s orphanage. The word got twisted by the time it got to Spurgeon, and it was reported to him that Parker criticized the orphanage itself.
Spurgeon’s fiery temperament vented itself from his pulpit the next Sunday as he blasted Parker. The press picked up on this and blew it out of proportion.
The next Sunday Parker’s church was packed with people who came to hear his attack on Spurgeon. Parker said, “I understand Dr. Spurgeon is not in his pulpit today, and this is the Sunday they use to take an offering for the orphanage. I suggest we take a love offering here for the orphanage.”
The crowd was delighted. Ushers had to empty the plates three times.
Later that same week, there was a knock at Parker’s study door. It was Spurgeon who said, “You know, Parker, you have practiced grace on me. You gave me not what I deserved; you gave me what I needed.” Joseph Parker practiced Eph. 4: 32.
As a youth my mom gave me the following on a slip of paper which I carried in my wallet till it wore out: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15: 1).
How Do You Control Your Anger? Part Two
Ephesians 4: 26, 27 & 30 – 32
We have got to learn how to handle anger or it will destroy us individually if not our total society. “The Dallas Herald” noted, “A person’s hostility and anger toward others could lead to heart disease and premature death.”
According to Dr. Redford B. Williams of Duke University Medical Center, “Individuals who harbor hostility and anger toward others are five times more likely to die from heart disease and six times more likely to die prematurely from other causes.”
Seneca, is a major philosophical figure of the Roman Imperial Period, was right when he said, “Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it.”
Keep flaming up and you will soon burn out.
We must either learn to control our anger or it will control us. When it controls, it puts us under the penalty of death. The negative impact is even worse spiritually.
A child asked, “Dad, how do wars begin?”
“Well, take the First World War,” said the dad. “That got started when Germany invaded Belgium.”
Immediately the wife interrupted: “Tell the boy the truth. It began because somebody was murdered.” Ole dad sat up straight and indignantly said, “Are you answering this question or am I?”
Turning her back in a huff the wife stormed out slamming the door.
When the dishes stopped rattling, the uneasy silence was broken by the son who said, “Daddy, you don’t have to tell me any more; I know now.” That is how progressive anger can be.
Listen to the counsel of God’s Word:
“Everyone should be…slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires” (James 1: 19,20).
“A fool will give full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control” (Prov. 29:11).
If you speak when you are angry, it will be the best speech that you will ever regret.
Biblically three improper ways are noted as to how anger is released.
“Brawling” is a reference to shouting and crying.
“Slander” is an attempt to defame someone.
“Malice” is the desire to injure or harm someone.
A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel” (Prov. 15:18).
Will Rogers said, “People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.”
“Do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared” (Prov. 22: 24,25).
Ask the Lord to govern your anger. He can do it if you cooperate.
How Do You Control Your Anger? Part One
Ephesians 4: 26, 27 & 30 – 32
Jesus entered the temple and saw extortioners at work robbing the people. He wove some cords into a whip, turned over tables, opened the cages of animals releasing them, and drove the religious robbers out of the temple as He shouted, “It is written, ‘My house shall be a house of prayer,’ but you have made it a den of thieves.”
Do you think He was emotionless in doing this? Do you think His emotion might well have been anger?
Many people have used this experience as an excuse to cover their intemperate outbursts. Was it a tirade by Jesus which justifies such on our behalf? Does it give us license to throw things, shout abusive and derogatory comments, or strike someone? No!
When channeled and controlled, anger is commendable. What Jesus experienced and appropriately expressed was righteous indignation. Defined, it means to become indignant over unjust treatment of others or things of God. The word “righteous” is an expedient. Jesus’ purpose was the defense of the honor of God’s house. His conduct was in defense of a Biblical principle. Candidly more Christians need to show more righteous indignation toward segments of the world that are degrading and debasing Scriptural principles. We have become too torpid, tame, and timid. Responses like ours would have resulted in passive conduct by Jesus.
A person who does not know how to be properly angry does not know how to be good. A Christian who doesn’t know how to be shaken to the center of the heart with righteous indignation over evil is either a fungus or an evil person.
Recently there has been a dramatic turn in the advice being given by psychologists as a result of current research. The swing is back to the Biblical technique for handling anger. This advice is often coming from clinicians who have no idea what the Bible says about how to handle anger.
Researchers at Florida State University are in accord saying, “The myth that ventilating anger brings down tension is long gone.” (Newsweek)
This brings to the surface a point which should not be overlooked. Christians need a Biblical worldview. That is, believers need to know the Word of God and what it says on critical issues. If a Christian had any comprehension of the Word of God, they would have known all along that the “vent your venom” style of dealing with anger advocated by psychologists for some time was wrong. Every time there is a Scriptural spiritual principle, there is physical evidence for it. Even if we don’t know the physical evidence supporting the Biblical concept, we can be confident in the integrity and wisdom of God’s Word.
Controlled indignation is conducted in accord with the Scripture: “Be angry and sin not” (Ephesians 4: 26).
The Great Command – Part Five
This is the good part of the Shema. We are to love ourselves. This gives no quarter to ego, just opportunity for gratitude and grace.
Love yourself? Yes. Some egotists might well sit up straight and say, “This is the part I have been waiting for.” However, this is the part that strips us of ego. Failure to understand this principle causes much misery. This doesn’t mean that we must love ourselves before we can love anyone else; it means that in the same way we take care of ourselves and are concerned about our own interests, we should take care and have concern for the interests of others.
A person all wrapped up in self is poorly dressed.
A “me-tight world” is a miserable world. It is impossible to be self-centered and Christ-centered. Conversely, it is impossible to be Christ-centered and self-centered. Only one can be God. Before understanding this one wrote of his life in this manner:
“I lived for myself, I thought for myself,
For myself, and none beside —
Just as if Jesus had never lived,
As if He had never died.”
When you properly love yourself in light of God’s love for you, there is a desire to be used by Him in fulfillment of His plan for you. Ego vanishes and obedience begins.
Jesus warned us against this “me first” mentality: “Whoever will save his life will lose it.”
The root of Christian self-love is self-reverence. This comes from an awareness that it is God’s supreme productive and creative power that has produced you. You were made in the image of God. You are the temple of God’s Spirit.
You are more than a member of a herd of guzzling, lecherous little mammals seeking to satisfy the lust of your flesh.
If you love yourself properly you long for self-development; you have a passionate eagerness to become all you can be in God’s will. Your trouble might be that the self you are trying to love is too small and undeveloped.
True self-love involves loving Christ first and foremost.
The Great Command – Part Four
Jesus directed us to love others as we love ourselves. This is referred to as the impossible imperative. Difficult, yes; impossible, yes.
Loving your neighbor as yourself is found eight times in the Bible. Not once. Not twice. Eight times. Loving your neighbor as yourself is so important to God that He not only repeats Himself, He makes it a command. And not just one in a list of many commands. Jesus coupled the command to love your neighbor as yourself with loving God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.
James calls it the royal law. It sounds beautiful, and it is when we obey it.
No one knows of your love for God unless you freely give out samples.
Love isn’t absorbent, but radiant. The love of Jesus coming to us must be reflected on others.
Without love for others, we are like stained glass windows in the dark.
James picked up this theme in his writings and noted (2:8) “If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself,’ you do well…”
Paul stressed the same truth in Galatians 5; 14: “For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”
A quote from Rabbi Hillel the Elder is worthy of remembering: “Do not unto thy neighbor what is hateful unto thee.” Always look for what is best for others.
Many people in an effort to limit who they have to love engage in mental gymnastics regarding who their neighbor is. In the Gospel of Mark the issue raised is: “To whom are you willing to be a neighbor?” In the Mark passage Jesus told them the story of the Good Samaritan to illustrate His point. He concluded that the one who was the neighbor was the one who acted to help.
The trait of love runs through true Christian character like water through a river bed, like sound through an amplifier.
This text becomes revolutionary when we realize that included as “neighbors” are members of our own families. Husbands and wives are to love each other. Siblings are to love one another. Parents and children are to love one another.
When we do, we will accept and appreciate each the role of the other. We will be more giving and forgiving. Love seeks no way to end its relationship. It searches for ways to maintain a very good relationship.
When love gets the upper hand, it is never strong-handed. Christ had us right where we deserved to be, and then He went to the cross for us to save us from a well-deserved fate.
How do you treat a person when you are right and they are wrong? Do you emulate Jesus and forgive?
Love one another for Christ’s sake. Remember He said, “…in as much as you did it unto the least of one of these My brethren, you did it unto Me” (Matt. 25: 40).
He also commented, “And whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me” (Matt. 18: 5).
Love others in compliance with Jesus’ command and conduct. He didn’t say it would be easy, just right.